Before 7/17/07, I had a list of all of the things I'd like to see happen in book 7. Many of them turned out to be true, many of them were too stupid to warrant further discussion. Since the dealer gave me my first hit of fanfiction for free, I've thought that they'd each (or altogether) make a cute fic, were they written out. I've called it my wish list. So here goes:

1. Neville has to get a crack at Bellatrix Lestrange.

2. Dolores Umbridge winds up with a bed next to Gilderoy Lockhart's at St. Mungoes.

3. Luna gets her own spin-off, "Joanie loves Chachi" style, in which a quirky young single woman tries to make it on her own in the big city.

4. Snape finds himself a boyfriend that will do something about his hair and wardrobe ("Confirmed Bachelor" my **).

5. Hermione has half a chapter in which some spell or other reduces her into a full-on booger-eating moron. And the boys get it on video.

6. Ron gets caught in the sack with some fifth-year Ravenclaw vixen, blames Hermione 'cause she's not putting out, and winds up with another howler from his mom as a result. Hermione forgives him two chapters later, of course. Still doesn't put out, though.

7. House elves everywhere take up arms against their owners, and declare Hermione their inspiration.

8. Draco dies in an attempt on Snape's life. Lucius is there, sees it happen, and is too chicken-** to save his own son. Lucius lives many, many years with the guilt.

9. Halfway through the book, Ginny apparates (when she gets her license) to wherever Harry is Horocrux Hunting to give the poor boy a much deserved distraction from his work. Cooks him dinner or something.

10. Fred and George wind up making so much money that they're able to set up their parents and endow a Joke Magic professorship at Hogwarts.

11. Five words: One Big Happy Weasley Family.

12. Hagrid gets an honorary Hogwarts diploma.

13. Dudley turns out to be a horocrux that Harry has to disembowel to destroy.

14. Aunt Petunia comes to terms with her inner Witch, and uses her new-found power for good instead of evil.

15. A new rage comes over the fanfic writers: Cho/Pansy.

16. Percy bursts through the church door at Bill and Fleur's wedding during the "if anyone knows of any reason..." part. A *gasp* emerges from the congregation. Percy thought he had something witty and spiteful to say, but chickens out, never to be heard from again.

17. One of Ginny's Bat Bogey hexes goes horribly, horribly wrong, giving Crabbe and Goyle bat boogers that eat their ways up through the sinus cavities and into the brain. They die.

18. Cornelius Fudge is brought up on treason charges.

19. Harry and Ron get a quarter of the way through Hogwarts: A History before realizing that Hermione was making all that stuff up. She's never read it, either.

20. Rather than kill Voldemort, Harry magically arranges things so that not only is he turned into a Muggle, but a homeless Muggle on the streets of Detroit in Winter.

Oh I can see these all as individual chapters of a huge spoof fic...must fight urge to write fic....I already have so many to do!

I have a plot bunny that's hopping around but I don't even want to attempt to write it for fear of not writing Bill right. So if any of you want to take it feel to use it and please let me know when it's posted so I can read it.

Plot Bunny

Bill went from being Teddy's favorite "Uncle" to Teddy being terrified of him. What happens when Bill realizes it's because he's dating Victoire? And what if Bill decided to just mess with Teddy's head a litttle because of this?

Aw too funny...not my sort of thing though. I don't think I'd be able to pull off any of those characters...

However, as I reread the post above concerning plot bunnies, I'm going to take on that plot bunny and try to make them each unrelated one-shots (but all in one fiction) hopefully posted sometime in the future...hopefully it will motivate me to work on other stories as well (don't ask that's just the way I tend to think...)

Hey Mackgirl - not sure if you'd be interested and all, but I found this one-shot the other day that had a similar plotline to what you were suggesting. It was actually written for an RL challenge, but if you'd like to read it, here's the link: An_Accidental_Proposal

Thanks! I've actually read that one before, but have forgotten about it but it was just as great to read a second time through.

Weird little plot bunny hopping in my head for Cho/Pansy, but I've got so much to write...

ETA: Planning/writing the Cho/Pansy as we speak. Credit goes to you, respitechristopher!

Oh I'll definitely read that Nicky!

--

And back to the 'how DH should have gone idea'...I'm going to pass. Really this time. I've got way too many things on my hands at the moment...

Hmmm....plot bunnies...i have so many of them wanting to be adopted...

AU-ish. Katie Bell (or any other Quidditch player girl, or OC) breaks her leg during a Quidditch game. There are complications. The leg is useless for life. Sort of a drabble showing how it affects her life in a whole bunch of flashbacks...or however you chose...i had an idea for one scene...in PoA when Harry wants to go after Sirius, or in OOPT, when Harry is being all CAPSLOCK!Harry

"That's quite enough self pity for today. Come on Harry, smile, go play Quidditch, do something"

Harry felt a twing of guilt in his stomach. Katie, would never play Quidditch again.

Someone needs to write a three-way Celebrity Deathmatch between Lily Evans, Ginny Weasley and the Little Red-Haired Girl from Peanuts.

And there needs to be more Tonks/Hermione. I don't think I've ever seen any. After finding out about Cat Cora (via "afterellen.com"), I've decided that it's just fate that every woman I've ever had a thing for (and most of my ex-girlfriends) winds up gay. So Tonks/Hermione is just written in the stars.

I've seen Tonks/Hermione - A good one is Staying_The_Night which is an OOTP AU-ish story. Couple short chapters so far, that's it.

And I found this which isn't really, but a good parody - written pre-DH though: Evading_the_Marriage_Law.

I've got Luna/Tonks recs too if that's wanted....

Someone write the scene where Kingsley and Mr.Weasley visit the dursleys after Harry's sixth year. It's a DH missing moment.

By the way, respitechristopher what did you mean by One Big Happy Weasley Family? Care to elabrate on that plot bunny?

One Big Happy Weasley Family: Shorthand for the combination of The Good Ship and the Orange Crush. Also known as Ron/Hermione and Harry/Ginny.

I actually have a R/Hr plot bunny. Even though I despise that ship. It was sort of wa to make the ship look actually healthy and tolerable. I actually have it planned in detail- but I'll never write it. It's a play on the old marriage law cliche- where Hermione DOESN'T marry anone in the end (gasp). If someone writes it- the should be a Percy fan however. XD. Oliver is also in the fic- and a person can make it slash or just a friendship depending on their preference- here was the plan:

Summary: A Marriage Act fic which ends with Hermione NOT getting married?! What is the world coming to? Humour/Parody fic. Slight crack. Canon compliant. To a degree anyway.

Larger summary: Hermione Granger thought that their troubles with the Ministry interfering in her and her friends personal lives would end with the war. One year later, she finds she is horribly wrong. Hermione is outraged when a new law is draft calling for the marriage between both muggle-borns and 'compatible' purebloods in the next 12 months. One is Ron and the other- DRACO?! She has been only dating Ron for around six months and is certainly not ready for marriage. And the last person she'd ever want to marry would be the ferret.

Along the way, she finds help from the muggle government, outraged that a group of their citizens should be treated such a way, especially since it comes under direct violation of the Human Rights Act....

A humour/ Parody ficlet for those who are tired of seeing marriage law fics.

--

Plan:

Hermione finds out about the terrible law from -where else?- The prophet!

Hermione and Ron argue. Ron does not understand the real problem- thinks Hermione doesn't really want to be with him at all (which is wrong). Much screaming and yelling results.

Percy, Oliver and Teddy scene in Percy's apartment when Ron barges right in after being thrown out everywhere else by his family who can't stand his whining. Percy looking after Teddy as a favour, and tries to feed him while listening to Ron rant. Percy offers wise advice in between spooning food into the child. Advice which Ron is less inclined to take. Ron storms out. Oliver, since he is unable to go out and get trashed with Percy concentrates instead on indoctrinating Teddy into the “Quidditch cult” (Percy's words). Fun times await!

Draco and Hermione meet. Form a crude alliance of mutual hatred against the law. Hermione suggest going to the muggle government, albeit reluctantly and wondering what on earth a group of muggles could do for them, Draco tags along. Moral outrage from the new law which results is delicious.

Ron finds about the alliance, makes the wrong assumption. Both start yelling and arguing again. Then say 'It's OVER'.

Percy tells Hermione off for not seeing Ron's side of the story. Oliver tells Ron off for being an utter moron and git to both Hermione and his brother Percy. Both actually APOLOGISE to each other, unlike in the books (and mean it), getting over their misunderstanding and reluctantly Ron decides that he'll help stop the law, along with Draco.

Bands of muggles, muggleborns and purebloods come together to stop the law. Magical government at first dismissive over protests. Meanwhile, an amused Hermione notices that Ron and Draco aren't that different from one another- in terms of flaws anyway. Both horrified and try and deny it.

The muggle government saves the day- slams down the very idea that their citizens would be forced into arranged marriages under various British and European and UN law. Poses the fact that thy could reveal the WW at any time- they have proof. And obliviation will not work since they started a tree of gossip by word of mouth and technology. They are poised to tell the world of their findings and evidence should anything go wrong- like disappearances or lost memories. Mass obliviation of entire countries/world does not exist.

Ministry concedes defeat to the muggles. Talks begin over the legality of the slavery of house elves before scene is cut.

Mass celebration! Scene where Ron and Hermione realise they have issues, but hope that they will get through it. Open ending with a strange acquaintanceship or neutral level of feeling occurring with Malfoy it seems by the pair.

Wow there's so many plot bunnies, would you mind if I make an entire story out of it or no?

I probably should have said that i was talking about respitechristopher's list.

I probably should have said that i was talking about respitechristopher's list.

If you can do that, more power to you.

I really want to write a story called "Things That Go Squick in the Night", like all those bedtime 'scary' story books for kids, and then have it be a series of (serious) oneshots about all the impossible, noncanonical pairings, trying to make them work - Draco/Harry, Snape/Hermione; that sort of thing.

But then I realized I'd be no good at it. So, on second thought, I'd really love to read a story like that!

If you're going to go with that title, I'd say make it a series of parodies with all of those interesting relationships. Keeping everyone in character, I'm not sure how I'd write some of them in believeable relationships.

Parody and that sort of thing is sometihng I'm crap at, though . . . the sarcastic title just popped into my head, but I figured if I was writing it, I'd have to keep the chapters serious, and do a bunch of unrequited, angsty stuff.

Any of you guys on here, though, could do it with gallons of snark and parodize it wonderfully . . . *wishes*

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