In an stylish house in the heart of London's modish centre there lives the Family Spiffington. This family is rich, fashionalbe and so spiffing the word was actually invented to describe them.

Lady Nazrine, Lady Gilly and Lady Kahlia often enjoy partaking in some tea, in the tea room or in the parlour. Occassionally joined by friends and family and often irritated by their usless butler Alfred the three young women, one on the verge of a most advantagous marriage discuss all manner of topics, from Indian tea, Chinese napkins and Welsh teapots to the unsupportable attitude of the domestic help.

Welcome to the Spiffington's parlour...

*Alfred set the teapot down on the table and bowing left the room in search of more teacakes.*

Oh, that accursed butler. What were we conversing about before?

That insolent maid Rebecca. Something simply must be done!

I believe we were discussing possible strategies to remove the maid from service.

Oh, now I recall. The common whore who was making designs on my beloved. As if he would go to her *tosses hair*

I shall simply have to tell Mummy that she had stolen some of my jewelry.

That is a good plan. Why on earth would a Lord want a common maid? and its not as if she is particularly becoming.

Yes. She is such an insolent young girl, and quite frankly, her standard is not up to par. Yesterday, I quite found that she had placed daisies in my vase instead of freesias.

oh the horror! Why, that is reason enough to dismiss her.

ALFRED!!

Daisies? Daisies in our house! That is simply insupportable!

Do bring us some more of those delightful tea cakes, please. And do try not to spill cream on the carpet, this time. Lady Nazrine's father had that imported all the way from Singapore.

oh I think I shall have one more but I must go out to the park today, Mother is very insistent about being seen there.

Oh Mother mentioned that. Will you wear your new pink chiffon?

Oh, and you do need to show off that delightful new dress of yours. Yellow is so very fashionable this season.

No, I shall wear the blue muslin. It is most becoming with my new pelisse.

Oh, but of course. How could I forget, especially since it brings out the colour in your eyes so well. You will attract every potential suitor in London with that, my dear.

That is the plan my dear. Except of course the suitors of you two.

*puts down teacup daintily* Well I must go and get ready. I hope to see you both again soon.

Oh have you taken a suitor, Lady Kahlia?

Oh well, Nazrine is the only one with any real influence on Lord James, I guess. That maid just doesn't have the same wit and charm.

Well my dear, I do have my eye on a few. But they are lacking several sizable attributes that I look for in a man.

And pray tell, what might those attributes be?

Well, a man must have enough intelligence and wit that he knows the ways of women and of the world, without being at all arrogant or otherwise in awe of his own talents. He must also possess a sizable income for my dresses and scarves - after all, they are imported from the best of the best, wherever they may be.

of course, of course. I think you would be most delighted when meeting Lord JMG, though. He possesses all those delightful qualities and more.

Ah yes, but I could not become like that common whore and steal him away from you when you two are so obviously a perfect match. It is written in the stars, my dear, and you know that I am not one for the pursuits of harlots like astrololgy.

That is why I'm only too happy to call you my darling sister, darling sister.

Have you heard? Lord CG is interested in our own Lady Isabel!

Why, that would be a most fabulous match. I have heard that Lord CG's wit is unsurpassable, and we all know about the fancies of Lady Isabel. She is too intelligent for her own good, sometimes I fear, Nazrine.

Yes, indeed, dear. *grave* She is simply too competitive and outspoken for her own good. Do you not recall the painful events of the year before, with the buffoon Lord Panske?

Oh, I did think we endeavoured never to bring that up again, but the damage has been done. Such an insolent young man, and yet, our Isabel, head over heels for him.

A truly terrible tale. I hear Father paid quite the amount to keep it hush hush. Could you imagine the position of our standing had it gotten out? *tuts*

As long as her new suitor does not hear of her impertinence. Their courtship will bring wonderful attention to this family. You have heard that he studied to become a doctor at Oxford. Such a noble profession...

Oh, such nobility! You do realize that will raise our standings from squillionaires to that of gazillionaires.

More tea?

ALFRED!

Oh, that would be delightful. And some more of those divine cakes, if you will Albert. Nazrine, I really must find out the name of your chef. His food is simply marvellous.

Oh, simply divine, isn't he? I had him imported from France. Beastly food in France of course, but he does make rather marvelous meringues. I'll have Alfred bring some.

Oh yes. Promise me, Nazrine, that you will never stoop so low as to offer to escargot to our honoured guests. *wrinkles nose* But some meringues would be lovely, and possibly some more tea. That butler of yours is quite lethargic, it seems.

Oh, hello all! I've returned from my travels. And I do believe that I've devised the most delightful plan to get rid of the harlot that is Rebecca. We mustn't have her eyeing our beaus.

Oh a plan! How delicious it sounds indeed - pray divulge.

Your plan of telling Mummy that she stole your jewels was actually the inspiration of my own plan. Except we won't gamble our jewels in an escapade to just have a tarty maid fired. They're far too valuable. Instead, I suggest that we send her a message anonymously saying that a man of great importance desires her 'presence' on the night we're hosting that ball. Such an offer that she won't be able to refuse. And you know Mummy--she can have a frightful temper at times, especially about her perfect public soirees. She'll be needing Rebecca that night to serve hors deuvres and whatnot and when Mummy discovers Rebecca missing, you know that Mummy herself will toss Rebecca's belongings out onto the street.

We'll be rid of her forever.

Oh, how deliciously evil! I do adore this plan. Shame the ball's not till next week, and Lord JMG calls for tea on the morn.

Biscuits?

Of course. You know I'm never one to refuse those scrumptious biscuits. Oh, where is that lethargic butler?

ALFRED!!! Where are those meringues, for the love of all that is silk and frilly? And bring the lady her biscuits!

Perhaps he and Rebecca are in cahoots with each other. Cavorting with the harlot, he is!

That would not surprise me, Lady Isabel, although the thought of it is quite revolting. I do believe you've turned me off my tea.

Oh, do forgive me! I couldn't stop myself from speculating.

So how is everyone on this fine and lovely day?

Simply spiffing, though I am afraid of what shenanigans that awful Rebecca could be pulling when Lord James comes to call.

Oh, but we shan't have to worry of her once Lady Isabel's splendid plan works. Perhaps we can offer her a ride on one of our stallions, and wait until he bucks her off... in front of your delightful Lord, of course.

Oh you are simply too deliciously evil for your own good, Lady Kahlia.

The plan worked splendidly, to say the least. Lord James found it uprariously funny and I daresay that Rebecca shall know her place, if only for the time being.

Well, one can't get to a position in live such as ours without being a little devious, Lady Nazrine.

I do believe she is in the barn nursing her wounds and her pride, so maybe her lesson was well taught.

Oh, I doubt it. Just a few hours ago, when Lord CG dropped by to request a stroll with Lady Isabel, I spotted her making eyes, the little harlot.

Oh, if only beating the servants were fashionable once more, I would delight in watching Alfred lay a switch against her large and unshapely behind.

Well, we shan't have that! We might have to discreetly hire a thug of some sort to do our dirty work.

ooh Isabel darling, you took a stroll with Lord CG?

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