I put him through the wringer in Catalyst. He goes some interesting places emotionally. Is there any point you think he's a little too overboard? Or did I not go far enough, considering what he's dealing with?

And what about his basic character, as in the series? How would you describe him?

I don't know about overboard, exactly, but I have found his behaviour in the last few chapters a little extreme and OOC. The massive amounts of angst and the stalking of Sam… I think I know why they're there in the long run, but it doesn't really feel like him at the moment. I also think he should have snapped out of it sooner, with all the talking tos he's gotten from people. The rest of the emotions are fine; it's just this "I can't be around Sam because she hates me even though everyone else in my life says or hints at the exact opposite, but I've got to be around her to save her from people who are after her but haven't done a thing, really, and oh, woe is me" attitude that doesn't feel right

In the series, I think Danny goes from goofy teen to serious hero over the course of the seasons. He definitely matures, though there's always that pranking aspect to his personality, and the firm belief that he's doing the right thing. He is also fairly intelligent and confident to stand up for himself. He shies from fame and attention, especially after the several episodes where he gets burned by the A-list, and is content to lead a quiet, unobtrusive life for the most part. Of course, that slowly changes as he comes to terms with Phantom's fame and popularity and acknowledges that he can actually cope with all of that.

Wow, thanks for your comments. You've basically summed up what's been really bothering me for chapter now! I just didn't want to skim over things, and in so doing I think I spent too much time on it, you know?

Blarg...pacing, what to focus on, it's been really hard these last several chapters. Thankfully that's basically done with. But yeah, looking back through it I thought "my writing quality drops here...and here....and here....". It's been really aggravating, lol!

This is verging on a spoiler here, but...what I was trying to bring out (obviously not very effectively) was his connection to Dan. It's way down there in the back of his mind, but he knows the truth in his double's words. He refuses to acknowledge it, but it still manifests. He still feels guilty, and hates that feeling, but on a fundamental level it's there, and it's not because "he couldn't protect her" as he keeps telling himself. It's because he recognizes himself as the aggressor. Not consciously though.

Meh, I think I'm saying way too much here. I just need to learn how to write in hints, make my writing more efficient, yet more meaningful at the same time.

Lots and lots to strive for, lol. You're so right, though. I've been pulling my hair out over these chapters, because I want to convey certain things, but I can't just spell it out, but...arg. And so Danny seems so pathetic, in a way, so extreme. And no one can see why. I just...didn't make it clear at all. (tempted to rewrite..again..*_*)

I love your comment on how Danny develops through the show. Thanks for reminding me of his growing acceptance of hero status. I think I've lost that aspect of his character somewhat...

Yeah, pacing's a bother. I find it helps a little to map out the plot, sometimes in pretty fine detail, though you've probably already done that. You can always ninja-edit, too (editing chapters without reposting).

That's actually what I figured you were doing, and I can see it poking through in places (both ways). You're doing pretty well with the hints, if readers are the sort of pick up hints in the first place. I think if you continue the way you're going with the subtle way you've doing the hints, you should be fine until the big reveal. ^^ You're doing well with the efficient and meaningful writing as well—there's a reason I think this is one of the best fics out there. The underlying ideas and themes are wonderful!

Your characterization of Danny will get better once you further the plot. He's starting to accept the state of things now, at least, which will mean the end of the massive levels of angst he's been exuding. And I'm sure you can work the hero thing back in somehow, though he's been struggling with darkness for a while. First the rampage through the Ghost Zone trying to find Sam, then the battle with Dan, then, I suppose, the angst…. He may not be as much of a hero now as he used to be.

Heh, I just responded to another thread, and mentioned how I had been working out plot points...and yup, it's in very fine detail, down to how conversations start, and get where I want them to go, etc. It's the last step before I can write it out. I've just got to continue through to a certain point, an arc I guess, before I do start writing any of it out, even if I've already detailed parts to quite an extent. That was my problem in the first place with this chapter, I think. There were a few things that effect the story far into the future, and I needed to make them clear in my mind, yet I had already written 13 or 14 pages (I think?) of the chapter without being absolutely certain of a few things.

What's ironic is that no major plot points have changed at all! It's the subtle stuff, characterization, how I portray people in certain situations...lol, I vant to do eet right!

I'm glad you're getting the hints. Though I think there are sections in the last several chapters that could be shorter, and say more at the same time, still. But you're so right, you can't write a story for the person who is least observant either, you know? A certain set of people, for whatever reason, aren't going to get the hints, sometimes even large hints. (Think of Harry Potter! There were people who refused to see a connection forming between Ron and Hermione until the very last book came out, as I recall.)

Ah Danny...I love him. :)

You flesh things out in much more detail than I do then, even now, and I've been doing much more planning with my novel than I ever have before. Even for my chaptered fics! I think it's probably the best way to go, and makes doing the actual writing a thousand times easier. It's harder to go back and add things in, in general, but it's not impossible and once you know what your theories are, it shouldn't be that tough to make the necessary additions.

No, you can't, though that's a good, basic rule for non-fiction. You can't assume in fiction that everyone's an idiot—makes for bad writing, as seen in novice fanfic. You have to give people credit for intelligence, and they'll often surprise you, too. For instance, all the stuff that fans read into shows, movies, and books… I don't catch half of it the first time through, and I'm sure the writers in a lot of cases didn't intend the world to be as rich as fans assume it to be. But who knows, really?

I'm actually going to hop off after this, but I just wanted to respond to this first. I should say that the level of detail before writing varies for me. In this chapter, it's especially detailed because it's important for future stuff, more than some have been. Um, on that note...lol, I've already said this in a few other posts...

I finally got through the scene that had me at a dead halt! I've been working around it, working around it, writing details about characters, about backgrounds, blocking things out, and finally, the problem I couldn't get around resolved itself.

It was so freaking obvious too, in a weird kind of way. Which is awesome, because that just makes things flow that much better, helps all the puzzle pieces fit more nicely. Yeeeeesss.

And it's also why I'm ending the posting here for tonight. To write. Well...and sleep.

This weekend was so stressful. I was wedding planning! My best friend is marrying my brother, right? Which, in a way, is really, really wonderful. I mean, I know theme both very well, and so I feel good saying that they look like a very solid couple. It's just....cheese wiz. My mother, my brother, my friend, and myself went up to my friend's parent's house to plan stuff out. And it was really bad. Could've been worse, but it could've gone a lot better. My mother actually was in tears later on (away from them, thankfully) because of certain things.

Streeeeessss! I'm not going into details, but yah. Stressssss.

Ah, but things are good now. My brother is taking the reigns. All will be well. He's excellent at planning things, and doing things cheaply too.

Okay, this is probably boring you to tears, so I'll stop. Off to write...

Later. :)

Yeah, same with me on the details. I've sketched out chapters in great detail, and I've sketched out chapters as "they go to the beach and practice." But congrats on getting over the hump! That is always an awesome feeling and I've noticed the solutions to writer's block always seem to be fairly obvious in hindsight.

Sounds like quite the weekend for you. I hope the wedding goes off well without tears or bodily injury. With your brother in charge, it sounds like there's a very good chance of that not happening. :)

Yay. Finally posted the chapter. :P Took longer than expected...again. That draft I thought mostly finished underwent many changes, though most all of them were very small, occasionally even nitpicky. Meeeeeeeep!

I just remembered something....really, really important. Dang it! Shoot! Shoot! Man. My mom has served as proofreader on and off for me. (Er, did you know that, I can't remember if I've ever said so.) I was going to give her a special mention this chapter.

She's a nitpicker sometimes, but she's really good at pointing out legitimate mistakes, too. Plus, the plot of this chapter has a lot to do with a brainstorming session I had with both her and my little brother! Roar! I need to mention them...:( Ooops!

Hmm...maybe I can fix it before she checks the chapter out, actually....

Anywho. Yeah. Weddings. Foo. It's going better. The location has changed from...not reasonable to reasonable. However, the dress my friend wants to wear needs to burn. it's atrocious.

Okay, she's a very (veeerrrry) big breasted lady, right? Well...some things work for her, and some things don't. This dress is pure evil. It needs to die. She's in a mood, and is sick of looking at dresses right now. But I will have to get after her again before long...maybe not so subtly this time.

Grrr. Roar. The thing doesn't even fit right. But, like most brides, she's getting emotional about weird things....tis tricky. Still, I want her to look good, ya know?

I see that. I will read it tomorrow, however, I think. 12:40 am is not overly conducive to following plot. ^^;

Y'know, I don't think you've mentioned your family betaing at all. 'Tis very cool that they do so though. Very cool indeed.

Good luck convincing your friend to wear something else!

lol, take your time. But I do appreciate reviews, lots. :) (Hey, I'm only human, right? It's natural.)

Em...I'm gonna give my mom a shout out in next chapter instead, actually. It's all part of the same plot arc, after all.

Ah, convincing my friend about the dress. That's going to be tricky. She requires a lot of headology, to steal Granny Weatherwax's term. She's also anti make-up, and erm, anti body shaping/enhancing undergarments. Roar. I'm a slender built person, but even so I'd still wear that kind of stuff for my wedding. Sigh.

I suspect she may have been a hippy in a past life. :P

Then I must remember to review, mustn't I? ^^

Eeeh, I can see that. Headology definitely comes in handy with my friends as well, but for different things. I'm anti-make-up, so understand that deal, but … yeah, I'd at least do the basics for my wedding, you know? But it's ultimately her decision and hopefully everyone close to her can gang up with the headology. Someone must be able to get through.

Howdy.

Warning, warning: slight rant ahead...

These last few days have been *#&$(%. Yeah....they've been like...whatever that block of ick means. :P I got some lousy news about my oldest brother- the kind that makes me feel like Tucker did when Danny was being an idiot a few chapters back. I just want to shake him. Arrrrrrrgg!!

Gah. But I'm not going into that.

Then there's the feminine problems...urgh, I hate being female sometimes. Sorry. If any guys ever read this...but hey, you must freaking understand that "hormonal" really can mean you've got the urge to cry for absolutely no good reason whatsoever. You look at a pretty flower, and then it's "oh look, the flower, it's so pretty, it makes me cry....waaah." Yesterday that was me. Today, it's like, er, yeah, that's hormones you know, one day of the month that just happens, really. It doesn't make me overly emotional.

Meh. Then there's that freaking film. I've taken a ridiculously long time scoring it- a couple of weeks should have been plenty, but for some reason I just run through ideas, and none really speak to me. I've got six versions of the, eh...project, I guess, on the computer already. And several are strikingly different.

I had to tell the guy I needed more time yesterday evening. Roar. Sure, it's a favour, he's not paying me...but gah.

On a positive note, I've been writing on the next chapter. It's gonna be um...meh. No spoilers. But it's serving right now to take my mind off the film for a bit, while keeping the creative juices flowing.

So. Yeah. Anyway...guess I should actually address what you wrote, Esme!

Um. You haven't reviewed yet! Yeah...

I'm not a make-up person either. It's special occasions only, pretty much- or if I'm performing on stage or something, which hasn't happened in a while. Headology, headology...arg. I blew a chance for some major headology. My friend called yesterday, said she had burned the entire rest of Avatar the Airbender cartoon series onto a DVD, hint hint, let's watch it tonight....type of thing. And was like "nooooo, I must work on the film..." and then had a teensy break down of sorts for the next few hours. Which was mostly hormonal. Mostly.

Argh. Why the heck didn't I say yes? It was probably exactly what I needed. And I didn't get any work done anyway!! And I alienated her...okay, only slightly, she's my best friend...but still!

Meh. My other posts will be less spazzy and random, I promise. _

*hugs* Sorry to hear about your brother, and definitely sorry about the hormones. I hate that time of month too, though I tend to get more angry than anything else. Certainly have never been a crier, and not sure which I'd prefer.

Hugs for the film too. I know how stressful and guilt-inducing self-imposed deadlines can be. I hope you're able to find the right fit soon, though, and that all the extra stuff you've written can be put to good use elsewhere.

Yes, I know I haven't. But I've read it and liked it! I've just gotten slightly inundated with this editing project I'm doing for a friend of Dad's, which needs to be finished by Tues. and with my work schedule that's taking up a lot of my time. And I'm bashing my head against the first chapter of my novel. I definitely plan on reviewing, though.

Last time I wore make-up was, um, prom…. And maybe one job interview three years ago.

Oooh, yeah, you were so close! *hugs* I doubt you'll have alienated her very much, and I'm sure another good headology opportunity will present itself. ^^

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